First Few Weeks of School

I have been a bad mom and not posted any first day of school pictures but frankly, the whole time was stressful for not only the boys, but for me as well. Now that it has been a few weeks and they have settled into a groove, I can finally share the drama. The boys both attend Willowbrook International school, a 5 minute walk from our home. Conor goes 5 days a week from 8:30 to 2p (shockingly long for a 3yo, no?) and Aidan goes Tues/Thurs for half days.  At 17months, calling it school is a bit of a giggle. The first week I stayed with Aidan as part of transitioning for the young age group and was subjected to lots of silly songs. One particular song was called "Teddy Bear" and all the adults danced side to side like a drunk teddy bears. It's a prenap song, as all the teddy bears end up laying on the ground at the end.  I can handle hokey pokey but have to draw the line on "Teddy Bear". No fathers could have kept a straight face.  See what us moms are subjected to? This first week, since I was there, Aidan was like a cowboy in class..running everywhere,washing his hands constantly at the sink and  could have cared less about the singing (What clean up song?)... This week though, a different Aidan has emerged. At dropoff, I need to peel him off my body and hand him to the teacher as I run away. Five minutes later when I peak back after dropping Conor off, I find him still dramatically doing "fake"? heaves with his eyes still shut..no hysteria though. I am not worried about Aidan, he's a tough dude. Conor though is another story...

Since Conor has been here, his atopic dermatitis has acted up and he goes on fiendish missions of scratching, so I feared that the anxiety of school and teacher to student ratio (6:1) would leave poor old Conor in a corner scratching his knees and elbows all raw. And on top of that he is criminally shy and thus goes mute when around strangers.  So I expected the worse, and braced the teachers for such, and it was pretty painful the first week. He cried ALOT. Even when another student got close, he would cry. I even cried on the way home one day. I felt so bad making him go to school, the kid has had so many changes this past year. We moved 5 houses in 10months. He didn't see Paddy for 3 months. Now he is surrounded by a new language and dropped off with strangers for 6 hours a day. I feared the potty training would regress but thankfully, he has only had one poopy accident. I expected it would take a month but miraculously, with a lot of encouragement and Pooh stickers he just stopped crying at dropoff after a week and now, seems to almost rush into the school when we arrive. We get a daily newsletter with pictures of what the kids have done that day, and you could see in the beginning, Conor off in the corner looking out the window or seated on the teachers lap while the rest of the kids were on the floor listening to story time. They should have blacked out his eyes so I wouldn't realize that was my child being anti-social. And now, we see him playing with a hoola hoop or sitting on a chair by himself next to the kids on the floor (It seems Conor hates sitting on the floor!) He seems to be getting encouragement from the other older, more verbal children too. At home, he is singing clean up songs, "find a seat" song and another mysterious mealtime song which ends with Itadakimas! So, we are making progress and I will not be getting that stress ulcer.

"I Hate Shimoda"

It is said that when you move to such a different place,  you are bound to have those Love/Hate moments.  So far, I would say I have been enjoying Tokyo.  I miss my friends and family in America but overall, it has been an adventure and I have had a positive attitude....until this weekend...two scenarios reared their ugly heads in Shimoda.

On Friday when I picked up Paddy from the train station in Shimoda at 8pm, I wanted to try a local restaurant in the town.  Being a quaint fishing village, I thought we could bypass the nasty burger and fish and chips at the gaijin joints and have an authentic meal. We had a map of a fish restaurant printed out by Paddy's secretary and when we arrived, it was empty and the man profusely waved his hands in an X sign. We understood none of the Japanese but I got the X.  So we walked back to the first restaurant where we had asked for directions to the "X" restaurant, resigning ourselves to a bowl of noodles. The restaurant seemed full but again, the lady said something terse in Japanese and walked off. No effort to explain why they couldn't seat us.  Not that we would have understood.  Paddy then walked into a bar nearby and attempted to ask if there were any local sushi places; to which he got a few long thoughtful pauses from the men sitting around the counter and then, head shakes.  And they continued to speak Japanese at me as if understood.  I was getting a little annoyed at the whole situation now, namely because I couldn't understand anything despite the Japanese lessons and how could it be that we were at a beachside village and could not get any sushi? 

So we walked back to the car parked near the Aoki Supermarket, at which point I exclaimed, " I HATE SHIMODA." 

Paddy said, "No you don't."

Me, "Oh, yes I do."

Paddy, "Let's try one more place on this corner."

Me, wallowing in self misery now, "No, I don't want to.  What are we doing here?"

Paddy,"Let's look at the window here...and look, it's sushi"

So, it just so happened that we stumbled into a wonderful little sushi place where we had a variety of delicious new sushi, and I was made to swallow my, I HATE SHIMODA comment. Victory out of the jaws of defeat as Paddy would say....

Until Sunday came, when we decided to drive back to Tokyo at 3p. It was a long weekend in Japan so we figured people would be staying until Monday. Our best time has been just under 3 hours on Sunday evening at 8p. Our worse time has been 6 hours leaving midday using the coastal route(0n a map would seem the shortest distance- rookie error). We had promised ourselves we would leave at 8p but for some reason, since the boys looked sleepy, we decidedto have a brain fart and why not put them in the car and they can sleep. So, three hours later, the boys, all three, had indeed slept, and awoke to complete stand still traffic in the mountains, not even half way home yet. There were people getting out of their cars to stretch and change drivers. Pee in the bushes, you name it. I thought to myself, I better see a big nasty accident coming up.  Never did.  Frustrations ran high in the car...here are some choice words from Paddy,

"This is complete Bull*cks. I could stab myself in the wrist. We are so stupid to leave at this time." Ditto, for me, except I wouldn't stab myself in the wrist, eyeball was a better punishment. But then the boys would be orphaned, or maybe not, just left with mutilated parents.

"The Japanese expect this kind of traffic on the weekends, it's all part of their suffering mentality." Hmm, I doubt this is true in the cold light of day post traffic but it sounded reasonable at the time.

"We have moved 5K in two hours, at this rate we will be home tomorrow at 9p." We both contemplated scrapping the drive and turning around, but each time we did, the traffic moved to a 20Km/hr pace.

To end your painful journey reading this, we finally got on the Tomei Highway and hit another one hour delayed traffic. And on the sixth hour of sitting in that car, Conor said, "Need to poop"....Oh no you don't buddy. Please try to hold it in.  He gave me a worried, but understanding face.  A few minutes later, "Need to pee." Conor had a pull up on for long journeys but Paddy wondered if he could pee in a bottle. So there I was in the back seat, squashed between two huge carseats with Conor standing attempting to pee in a bottle, on the worse drive of my life. Could it get any worse? Laughable stuff. Of course, peeing in a bottle proved too nerve wracking for Conman, and so he dribbled a bit and went back to his carseat and fell asleep. When we finally pulled into the driveway 7 hrs after beginning our journey, I just had to think to myself, I HATE SHIMODA. Next time, train onegaishemas (please).

Tennis anyone?

Let's set the stage for this particular entry by recalling a sunny afternoon in East Hampton, Memorial Day weekend when Paddy had flown home for Conor's birthday. He had informed me that we were going to join the Tokyo Lawn and Tennis Club next to our new house and so he needed some gear.  So, in true Paddy style, he returned from Main Street with a new Prince bag and TWO rackets, and a few new outfits. The two rackets I thought meant one for me and one for him, but, no, for Paddy "Federer" Hogan, he needed two rackets just in case he broke a string on one of his serves. Feeling sheepish, he did go buy one for me and thus we were all set to strut our stuff on the courts. This is coming from two people who have played 5 times in the last ten years. So we are REALLY good.

So with that confidence, I had joined a ladies group that played Tuesdays and Wednesday mornings. I know what you are thinking...Lien, your life is like those housewives from OC. Hmm..maybe. One opponent in particular that I thought I would go easy on was a 60ish yo old Japanese woman who might actually be 80yo with lip implants, a bad facelift and kyphosis. My bad, I shouldn't age discriminate because this chic just kept returning everything you hit her until you make an unforced error.  I played her twice, again this week, she beat me.  I surrender.  Maybe she takes steroids.

Our most "humiliating" (direct quote from Paddy) moment came this week when we played our first round mixed doubles match in the club tournament.  I was actually feeling queasy from nerves prior to the match. We were playing a Japanese couple we never met before on Court 1. On first appearances, he was 65 and slightly chubby. She was small and skinny and in her 30s. And odd pair. Within a few minutes of warming up, I suspected we were toast, but Paddy is extremely competitive and in his mind, imagined we were playing in the US Open. Anyway, 40 minutes later, after a can of fresh WHOOP ASS had been open on us, we politely shook hands at 6-0, 6-0. We then had to have a drink with them in the club where Paddy sulked the whole time, still in a bit of shock that we had been demolished so fast. Ok, so I will take 70% of the blame for losing because of my unforced errors but "Federer" wasn't doing so hot either. They say it's not good to be doubles partner with your spouse, hmm...there is some logic behind that.

Paddy and I are looking for a few opponents with either one leg or in wheelchairs to play against to boost our confidence.

Loser Dog

Last week we met a really lovely Japanese lady named Yuki at a wine tasting party who had spent her high school years in Westchester. We were talking about life in Tokyo for the average Japanese and got on the topic of the dating scene. Yuki shed some light on this that I had never heard before.  Apparently it's cats and dogs out there in the meat (fish?) market.  If you are an unmarried lady at 24, you are called Christmas Eve, at 25, you are Christmas Day, and after 25, you are known as Christmas Cake. Old and stale. Nearing your 30s, you are called New Year's Eve. I expected the holiday analogy to continue, but after, 30 yo, I'm sorry......you are now a LOSER DOG!!  That is a pretty harsh term in my book.  Why couldn't we just transition to a Jan/Feb holiday?. Apparently this phrase was coined by an author, Junko Sakai ( I later learned on Google), in her book, HOWL of the LOSER DOG.  It is a Japanese version of Bridget Jones Diary and is meant to try to explain how the WINNER DOGs are cold and calculating and succeed at getting men.  These dogs are married with two kids in a prestigious preschool by their early 30s (Smug marrieds).  Although the term LOSER DOG sounds quite derogatory, it is meant to champion the cause of those independent, self made, still single and loving it 30-40 year olds.  Secretly though, it kind of sounds like they want to be the WINNER DOGS but have found a different path in life.  Japan's population is shrinking, and it is because more and more LOSER DOGS are quite happy with themselves and have no interest in marriage nor children. Back to our new friend, Yuki.  She had bought an apartment in Tokyo and had imagined herself growing old there into her 60s (+/- five cats and a few pigeons?) but those plans are not going to happen, because alas she is getting married this year to an American guy she meant recently.  WINNER DOG after all.

Atsui des! (It's hot)

Well, after a week of rain, I thought maybe we would be transitioning towards fall like weather, but I was wrong, because its ATSUI DES! all over again. Reliving July and August and those moments of endless backsweat.  This time, as noted on the picture, I am armed with a brow handkerchief that I keep to gently dab my forehead as the ladies do. My sister Lan, who is on her second week of visiting and already a local and claims to have "DONE" Tokyo, bought it for me as I was clearly not being Japanese enough. Curiously though, the ladies here don't seem to sweat.  I was reminded of some peculiar things that occur in this heat:

1.  Walking around with a small umbrella in bright sunshine. I have been guilty of carrying a green frog Karope umbrella that Ellena and Dennis gave Conor for Christmas on 100+ degrees days. It got a few giggles from the ladies at Starbucks. I'm in on cuteness factor here, anything that makes Japanese girls giggle must be a natural winner.

2.  Ladies Summer Fashion. Ladies wear full on makeup, fake eyelashes, nude stockings in this weather. Not to mention many layers of all black outfits as if it were December. And summer cashmere! These are accented with what I call leg warmers for arms. This, like the umbrella, is all meant to keep your skin white. Being tan equals peasant, like me.

3.  Towel heads. Guys, usually those that have to do more physical work, literally wrap a light towel around their heads to prevent sweat from dripping down their faces. It's just part of the outfit. Kind of like nude stockings. Now that's what I'd like to see on a head...hmm, possibly different scenario springs to mind.

4.  Advertising. Instead of flyers, people give out paper fans and tissue paper with logos on them. Much more useful.

5.  Anecdote on how hot it was- my large plastic pot, urn if you wish, from Ikea is lopsided because one half has melted in the sun.

6.  Another personal anecdote, I showered three times today.

I can't wait for fall...